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CVLT Nation Bought Out By
VICE Media, Inc.

Since we began this blog, there’s been speculation that we had big corporate backing for CVLT Nation, which is blatantly untrue, until now that is. After 4 years of struggling to keep this blog going, our long days and meager meals have paid off, literally! After last week’s interview we did with Kim Kelly for NOISEY, I guess we had the heads of VICE Media, Inc. talking, because yesterday we reached an agreement to sell CVLT Nation to VICE for $25 million! There will be a few changes to the site, of course, but it will all be the same “hipster metal” content you’ve grown to love and hate. Instead of Sean and I putting up the majority of the posts, VICE has their own staff of 20-something cool people who will now be developing all the the site’s content, and they will pay much closer attention to your “likes and dislikes” than we ever did. Apparently, there is huge potential in what we are doing with CVLT Nation, but we needed to focus more on “maximizing” our audience and not so much on posting the shit we are personally into. Big thanks to all our writers, but VICE is most likely going to replace all of you with people who live in Williamsburg. Also – the site will no longer be known as “CVLT Nation,” it will now be called VICE Nation. As of next week, Sean and I are taking the money, hiring a couple of nannies (one per kid) and going on an extended holiday in the Virgin Islands. During this holiday, we will only listen to Drake, Nicki Minaj and Kanye, since we don’t have to pretend to be into underground metal anymore. In fact, I think we can all safely assume that “underground metal” won’t exist for long, thanks to corporate interest!

Written By

Meghan MacRae grew up in Vancouver, Canada, but spent many years living in the remote woods. Living in the shadow of grizzly bears, cougars and the other predators of the wilderness taught her about the dark side of nature, and taught her to accept her place in nature's order as their prey. She is co-founder of CVLT Nation.

108 Comments

108 Comments

  1. Mike Neuhaus

    April 2, 2015 at 9:25 am

    best april fools is best

  2. Tyler David Kirk

    April 2, 2015 at 1:45 am

    Spaghett

  3. Tyler David Kirk

    April 2, 2015 at 1:45 am

    Fooled me.

  4. Mrrc Oer

    April 1, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Nice one

  5. Raja Gul Mawaz- Khan

    April 1, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    Damn. Got me…

  6. Nikos Alexoudis

    April 1, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    So dumb ov me to fell for something like that

  7. Anton Em

    April 1, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    *Slow clap*

  8. Erin Jardine

    April 1, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Fell for this so hard. So embarassing.

  9. Guillaume Lavoie

    April 1, 2015 at 11:02 am

    YOU BASTERDS

  10. Κλαιν Μαιν

    April 1, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Lol

  11. Andy Garita

    April 1, 2015 at 10:38 am

    no more hipster metal 🙁

  12. Derek Charles Blunt

    April 1, 2015 at 10:36 am

    Haha funny. To be fair though, a large bulk of Cvlt Nation articles could have been on Vice and vice versa (hehe), and no one would have batted an eye.

  13. Ben Heiselt

    April 1, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Whoa! That was terrifying. Good one guys I think I’ll go listen to nicki minaj now.

  14. Steven Siciliano

    April 1, 2015 at 8:59 am

    i won’t lie…. you had me there for a bit. whew.

  15. Andrew Bankman

    April 1, 2015 at 8:49 am

    That’s not funny, that’s terrifying.

  16. Jake Abassi

    April 1, 2015 at 8:45 am

    APRIL FOOLS!!!!

  17. Shannon Bain

    April 1, 2015 at 8:42 am

    brilliant

  18. Vi Wo

    April 1, 2015 at 8:38 am

    almost had a heart attack ……

  19. Lauren Gargano

    April 1, 2015 at 8:16 am

    Ha, ha, ha. Veryyyy funny.

  20. Mary All Lambs

    April 1, 2015 at 8:14 am

  21. Mattia Alagna

    April 1, 2015 at 8:14 am

    haha <3 u

  22. Adam Schulte

    April 1, 2015 at 7:43 am

    Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. Ha, well played

  23. Daniel Ardiano Sipos Convery

    April 1, 2015 at 7:23 am

    Cvlt Nation at the Sausage Castle, can’t wait.

  24. Robert Black

    April 1, 2015 at 7:08 am

  25. Joey Lummox

    April 1, 2015 at 7:07 am

    April fools! Funny stuff though.

  26. Joshua R. Banks

    April 1, 2015 at 7:01 am

    Lol. I want to beat vice to death.

  27. Andrés Felipe Uribe Cárdenas

    April 1, 2015 at 6:54 am

    …. ough

  28. Dominic Blyth

    April 1, 2015 at 6:44 am

    Cunts

  29. Jesse Balinong

    April 1, 2015 at 6:39 am

    You tried it.

  30. str8jacketx

    April 1, 2015 at 6:29 am

    April first?

  31. Bobby Humbert

    April 1, 2015 at 6:25 am

    Hilarious!!!!

  32. Maddie Rehayem

    April 1, 2015 at 6:24 am

    Heheh

  33. Santiago Montoya Ordóñez

    April 1, 2015 at 6:23 am

    Damn I almost..

  34. Brandon Arnold

    April 1, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Ha

  35. Thomas Campbell

    April 1, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Almost had me.

  36. Clinton Ist Kreig Homuth

    April 1, 2015 at 5:48 am

    For a second I believed

  37. Matt Carrington

    April 1, 2015 at 5:28 am

    well played

  38. Alexander Argento

    April 1, 2015 at 5:26 am

    almost

  39. Martin Amoedo

    April 1, 2015 at 5:24 am

    Almost!

  40. Tim McGarey

    April 1, 2015 at 5:22 am

    Too fucking real.

  41. Klaus Kaczynski

    April 1, 2015 at 5:02 am

    CVNTS

  42. Garret David

    April 1, 2015 at 4:50 am

    Hehehehe her

  43. Oliver Sheppard

    April 1, 2015 at 4:46 am

    Lol

  44. Jordan Reyes

    April 1, 2015 at 4:36 am

    Oh man – this got me so bad!

  45. Cephalic Kromholtz

    April 1, 2015 at 4:17 am

    Sweet! Good shit.

  46. Nigel Calder

    April 1, 2015 at 4:12 am

    Ha.

  47. Michael Paschendale

    April 1, 2015 at 3:52 am

    You silly bastards.

  48. Pat Miller

    April 1, 2015 at 3:44 am

    i cant lie, you guys got me. thank you bottle of whiskey at 5 am

  49. Adam Asher

    April 1, 2015 at 3:43 am

    You had me until you mentioned how much it was bought for

  50. Ian G. Smith

    April 1, 2015 at 3:38 am

    Happy April Fools!

  51. Josiah Bartlett

    April 1, 2015 at 3:16 am

    Lol

  52. Davi Bruno

    April 1, 2015 at 3:05 am

    Huahuahua

  53. Bobby Hilliard

    April 1, 2015 at 3:00 am

  54. Torben Utecht

    April 1, 2015 at 2:23 am

    Haha, you got me!

  55. T Garrett O'Sha

    April 1, 2015 at 2:20 am

    Haha good one

  56. Krys Dołęga

    April 1, 2015 at 2:14 am

    Good one!

  57. Alberto Vespignani

    April 1, 2015 at 2:05 am

  58. Mike Davies

    April 1, 2015 at 2:05 am

    lol

  59. Cécile Ash

    April 1, 2015 at 1:33 am

    Subtile critic. Cool :D!

  60. Joseph Breikers

    April 1, 2015 at 1:19 am

    RVINED…

  61. Cornman

    April 1, 2015 at 1:15 am

    HAHAH funny joke bitch

  62. Boat Driver

    April 1, 2015 at 1:14 am

    It’s about fucking time…

  63. Spector Joel

    April 1, 2015 at 1:09 am

    i love lamp

  64. David Sheldrick

    April 1, 2015 at 1:02 am

    This sux

  65. Djake

    April 1, 2015 at 1:01 am

    I was convinced until the holiday part, I could somewhat see vice being involved with Cvlt Nation, good April fools. Had me for a sec.

  66. Michelle Ryan

    April 1, 2015 at 12:58 am

    Had me fooled for 3 seconds and read ‘hipster metal’. But you are worth $25 million!

  67. Filip Johannesson

    April 1, 2015 at 12:55 am

    lmfao

  68. Christian Segerstrom

    April 1, 2015 at 12:54 am

  69. Billy Cunningham

    April 1, 2015 at 12:50 am

    LOL

  70. Oliver Woodhouse

    April 1, 2015 at 12:43 am

    Classic haha

  71. Cosmic Collins

    April 1, 2015 at 12:39 am

    haha

  72. Giovanni Infantino

    April 1, 2015 at 12:38 am

    april foolz

  73. Yagi Olaguera

    April 1, 2015 at 12:36 am

    Hahaha.

  74. Dallas Hunter Van Winkle

    April 1, 2015 at 12:33 am

    lol. I was like. . Cool, good for you guys i guess.

  75. Wilhelm Princeton

    April 1, 2015 at 12:30 am

    VICE wishes.

  76. Nico Martinez

    April 1, 2015 at 12:29 am

    are they gonna start posting click bait on here all day like they do on their page i hope not

  77. Jess Duvall

    April 1, 2015 at 12:28 am

    Whew. Forgot what day it was

  78. Aaron Boone

    April 1, 2015 at 12:28 am

    Was about to go off my tits with rage until I spotted the date. Too early in the day for this shit.

  79. Nyarlothotep Palmer

    April 1, 2015 at 12:27 am

    Hahahaha

  80. Cory Wiegert

    April 1, 2015 at 12:26 am

    Oh I Get it… FRENCH CLASS!

  81. Stefano Gritti

    April 1, 2015 at 12:24 am

    First of april…

  82. Nyarlothotep Palmer

    April 1, 2015 at 12:19 am

    That’s that fucked then

  83. Eric Sellers

    April 1, 2015 at 12:18 am

  84. Trad Nathan

    April 1, 2015 at 12:17 am

    Dave is this your doing also?

  85. Chase Dobson

    April 1, 2015 at 12:17 am

  86. Ryan Connor

    April 1, 2015 at 12:15 am

    Vice is legit. We live in a corporate world. Break it down from the inside out and SHUT THE FUCK UP

  87. Christian Vittrup

    April 1, 2015 at 12:14 am

    For a horrible second…

  88. Sunny X Vigil

    April 1, 2015 at 12:13 am

    April fools! This one was too ridiculous

  89. Dustin Chimp

    April 1, 2015 at 12:13 am

    No, it’s true. I am one of the hired nannies. m/

  90. Niltzsche Foukoopmann

    April 1, 2015 at 12:12 am

    That is why they had an article about human experiments which read oddly lot like one you did. Oh yeah and april april

  91. James Oag

    April 1, 2015 at 12:11 am

    Har har har

  92. Juan Ibarra Jr.

    April 1, 2015 at 12:10 am

    in b4 butthurt

  93. Tobaeus Tapetrve

    April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am

    Hehe, I as expected.

  94. Johan Toresson

    April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am

    LOL

  95. Ben Paltin

    April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am

    Holy shit. Hahahahahaha

  96. Florian Reuter

    April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am

    If you actually bother to read the article, not just the headline, you wouldn’t be asking if it’s an april fools joke…:D

  97. William Richardson

    April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am

    Hahahaha nice

  98. Serg Iron

    April 1, 2015 at 12:06 am

    yus

  99. Mike Wilcox

    April 1, 2015 at 12:06 am

    this made me chuckle

  100. Arjun Mahadevan

    April 1, 2015 at 12:06 am

    Shit I nearly fell for that

  101. Arj Narayan

    April 1, 2015 at 12:05 am

    You will need a seamstress. Hire me.

  102. Michael Smith

    April 1, 2015 at 12:05 am

    LOL

  103. Michelle Swami

    April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am

    April fools!

  104. Aleksandras Rimdžius

    April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am

    good one

  105. Joran Monteiro

    April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am

    April fools?

  106. Grant Gibson

    April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am

    Guh!

  107. Zain 'Cuff' McMillan

    April 1, 2015 at 12:03 am

    I hope this is an April fools… fuck vice

  108. Cameron Rutledge Mathis

    April 1, 2015 at 12:03 am

    so $25hr intern pay?

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