What are you thinking about? Are you immersed in what’s in front of you, or are you diving into your past? Are you deep in the understanding that only this moment right here and now as you read these words is real, or are you somewhere in an imaginary future, predicting what might happen later today, next week, a few years from now? It wasn’t until I cut alcohol out of my life that I learned to stop myself from wasting it ruminating over mistakes I made and people or things I missed out on. I learned to stop imagining what I wanted or needed from my future and started to understand that the only thing I can count on is the action I take right now. That’s what the new single from XOR entitled “Saturn Returns” is all about — avoiding action by fixating on your fantasies of how things should have been or could be. The new record XOR comes out on July 22nd — you can pre-order it here. Right now focus your attention on our stream of “Saturn Returns” and then take another step.
I actually previously recorded a version of this song when I was between music projects, but never did anything with it. I was nearing 30, wondering what I was doing with my life, and didn’t really have goals. The past decade had been pretty scattered—I had tried various ways of existing in the world but wasn’t really satisfied. I’d also grown pretty accustomed to spending a lot of time in my head, imagining different pasts or futures or presents without ever doing much to change my current situation. In hindsight, that habit kept me from actually doing anything—it was much easier and more satisfying to imagine how things could be different than to actually try something.
It’s not enough to pretend 30-some years lost I always spend my time thinking of somewhere else And through each year gone Trying to look back Memories?–there’s no use trying to remember anything It sounds trite to say But what I put in is exactly what I got And that’s nothing much If I hope to earn some hope of living out My actions?–well it hasn’t really shown Every day is habit I can’t kick Every day is making lists of ways that I would change If I even cared at all Every time I put my pen to paper is wasted words Words I often can’t bring myself to say
