Instead of Easter egg hunts, wouldn’t it be more apt to have kids hammer nails into a cross, or play “whip the heretic,” or hunt for hunks of flesh and vials of blood? Instead of eating chocolate, we should be eating medium-rare steak (or maybe tartare)! I mean, if we’re going to get to the root of the holiday, it’s all about torture, death and rising corpses. I guess some people might consider that morbid, or too traumatizing for children, but being a kid who was raised going to church I can assure you that come Sunday, no one’s worried about traumatizing kids with stories of resurrection, blood-drinking and damnation. Some people are really into good-looking Jesus, and they picture him rolling back the stone all healed up, golden and buff on Easter Sunday. But other people embrace an alternative view of this process, and like to celebrate Zombie Jesus. So for those people who imagine Jesus’ corpse looking like any other human corpse would after a severe beating and a couple days of decay in a hot environment, here is a gallery of Zombie Jesus tattoos (and a couple of Zombie Marys). Happy Easter!
