As an 80s kid, I have fond memories of the Garbage Pail Kids. They captured the mixture of horror and hilarity every kid found in bodily functions, and my friends and I would collect and trade the cards, screaming and laughing at the barf, shit and piss references. I’m pretty sure my parents were horrified by them. Now some enterprising artists in St. Louis have re-envisioned the Garbage Pail Kids 30 years later, and done an amazing job of it! Jake Houvenagle, Brandon Voges and the talented team at Bruton Stroube Studios have painstakingly re-created some of the most iconic Garbage Pail Kids as adults. So far they have made six of The Adult Variant Series, but there are plans for more in the future…I see a book in their future! Below find the six cards with captions via Bruton Stroube:
As a small child, Adam had no idea how much of an impact pressing that button would have on his life (and everyone else’s). He’s had to live with that horrible, juvenile decision for his entire life, in this wasteland that he created. He lost everyone and everything, and was the only one that survived the destruction. It’s been the source of major depression throughout his life (and his head). Although that dented head has healed, his heart has remained a wasteland.
Who would have thought that a child who suffered such a traumatic, life-threatening experience would grow up to be the regional manager of a drain clearing and plumbing business? Plumb Nutz was ranked in the top 900 businesses of Fairfax County (East division) and Duane has been helping people remove all sorts of goodies from choked pipes for the last 22 years. His horrible accident left him with a set of thin and flexible appendages which he now uses to snake through clogged drains, and, by tickling his toes, remove the culprits.
Britt is the poster child for growing up tough. Her pit hair started growing early, and fast. Shaving did nothing, and as a poor family they had no money for laser treatment or waxing. She lived in a trailer with seven other extended family members, one of them being a touchy uncle who loved fondling her armpit hair. She turned to drugs at an early age. By 15, she had been to jail and rehab more times than the number of pit dreads under her arms. Britt turned things around the best she could, and now sober, she provides for her five kids working steadily at two jobs at the local truck stop and corner liquor store.
Tony did pretty well with the ladies in high school. They always wanted to get “under his skin,” curious what would be hiding under that zipper. In college, Tony partied hard, eventually dropped out, never to return. He was good with his hands, but unable to hold down a construction gig or any of the local assembly line jobs because of the safety concerns related to his loose skin. Tony decided he had a real gift, and took it to the stage. He has been headlining a low end Chippendales knock off in old town Vegas for the last 14 years.
Barbara was a complete outcast when she first started using her own puke in her cooking. But now with all the free range, naturally prepared and sustainable products flooding the market, she’s made a very successful career as a private chef in Hollywood. She cooks for the stars and has multiple locations of Barb’s Re-Bites, specializing in intestinally marinated meats and stomach pickled organic veggies. She’s cooked for many A-list celebs, including Gweneth Paltrow, Reese Witherspoon and Seal.
Noah has become known for that optimistic smile. Born with no body, his options were limited. To survive, he begged for change in exchange for pencils. He spent most of his childhood homeless, but always had that smile. He knew he was destined for bigger things, body or not. With that smile and charm he worked his way from being homeless on the tough streets of New York, to being the founder and owner of Pencil Club, a monthly pencil delivery service that has 20,000 employees and is the #1 pencil retailer in 42 countries. A fun Noah fact: He now owns the high-rise office building that he once begged in front of.
Photographer-W. Brandon Voges (Bruton Stroube Studios)
Retouching-Jordan Guance (Bruton Stroube Studios)
Producers-Tony Biaggne, Matt Siemer and Sherry Tennil (Bruton Stroube Studios)
Assistants-Steve Eschner (Bruton Stroube Studios), Mandi Kohlmeier (Bruton Stroube Studios), Stacy Collier
Hair/Makeup-Julie Dietrich (Talent Plus), Priscilla Case (Talent Plus)
Props/Wardrobe-Cathy Rauch (Bruton Stroube Studios)
Food/Barf Styling-Cathy Chipley (Bruton Stroube Studios)
Set Builder/Rigging-Bill Stults (Bruton Stroube Studios)