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Apocalyptic Blues

CVLT Nation Captures: Royal Thunder + More

Text & Photos: Charles Nickles

Man, I wish I could just get high but I can’t. Like AT ALL. And when I say that, I don’t mean to come off like one of those triple bock drunks who just LOVE to go on about how Bud is, basically, water.

“I just can’t get drunk on it.”

Budweiser is 5% which, yeah, is a little less than half the percentage of your run-of-the-mill hop-forward, milk-tit-mango-sugar motor oil but it’s still stronger than a session and when you consider it is best served in ice cold 16oz compartments so that it goes down smooth and fast as opposed to goddamn snifters which demand constant, insipid analysis then…you know…Q.E.D. you’re a dick, dude.

I mean, I can’t get high like I shouldn’t get high. Like it’s a real bad fucking idea. Like, you know in the high school movies where a good kid smokes a little grass and suddenly he’s burning his life down and crying in the corner while his friends put on porn to try and calm him down but that only puts the idea in his head that love is a vacuum from which no hope can escape and so he tries to smother himself with a pillow and when that fails he eats a stick of butter calls his best friend the devil and then passes out in the bathroom trying to jerk off into a used pair of granny panties he acquired earlier in the evening?


Something pretty much exactly like that, and I know it’s not like I NEED to get high but, sometimes, it just seems like it would be real goddamn nice, you know?

Like tonight.

Tonight is a night of a thousand riffs and that’s exactly the sort of evening that a blunt should be proceeding or so I’ve been assured by a hundred pop culture references and at least two dozen potheads.

But NO!

It’s Bishops as always…

Heavy Temple

This band, man. This fucking band is going to be THE fucking band of this year if there’s any justice in this sinking ship of a country. They’re gonna play every fest and melt every skull with their sweat and swagger fuzz thump SHRED Philly femme unfuckwithability and if you don’t learn to love them quick you’re gonna feel like a total piece of shit when the revolution finally comes and you learn the hard way you missed out on all the fun.



Backwoods Payback

All right. All right. A little heavier than the HT on pure account of the bearded man bellowing out but steady with the rock and roll over the gut rot stomp. Still wrung with the heady of the ladies but I can get with this a minute. The name is pretty fucking choice, though.



Royal Thunder

Holy shit. I’m gonna need to see Backwoods play another gig because they were couched between such fucking righteous pinnacles of amplifier worship that they would have had to go full-blow immolation to crack their worth.

Royal Thunder, though.

Straight thunderfucking RAWK with the blister rip on an old whiskey death blues rattle. How have I not seen this band already? How the fuck are they opening for someone at this very place next week? How the fuck do I not have tickets?


I really need to get my shit together.


Tickets are on sale for our March/April tour with Pinkish Black!

3/10 – Tampa, Fl – Coppertail Brewing Co. #

3/12 – Memphis TN – Rockhouse Live Memphis #
Tickets :

3/13 – Little Rock AR – The White Water Tavern #
Tickets: Available at door

3/14 – Houston TX – White Oak Music Hall
Tickets :

3/15 – Dallas TX – Not So Fun Wknd – Three Links – Deep Ellum, TX
Tickets :

3/17 – Denver CO – Streets of London Pub
Tickets :

3/19 – Las Vegas NV – Beauty Bar Las Vegas

3/20 – Scottsdale AZ – Pub Rock Live
Tickets :

3/21 – San Diego CA – Brick By Brick
Tickets :

3/22 – Los Angeles CA – The Hi Hat

3/24 – San Francisco CA – DNA Lounge

3/25 – Sacramento CA – Blue Lamp Sacramento

3/26 – Portland OR – Tonic Lounge
Tickets :

3/27 – Seattle WA – Highline Bar
Tickets :

3/28 – Vancouver BC – Astoria Hastings

3/30 – Calgary AB – The Palomino Smokehouse and Social Club
Tickets :

3/31 – Edmonton, AB – The Forge on Whyte

4/1 – Saskatoon SK – Amigos Cantina
Tickets :

4/3 – Winnipeg MB – The Good Will – Social Club

4/4 – Fargo ND – The Aquarium
Tickets :

4/5 – Chicago IL – Beat Kitchen
Tickets :

4/6 – Columbus OH – Spacebar
Tickets :

# – No Pinkish Black

Written By

Sentient 51423

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