If art is merely something we hang on our walls, how much does it challenge us? This question formed my constant search for art offering confrontation no matter the medium be it sonic or visual. I am always seeking out art that embraces the darkness within me, beckoning me further into it. Sometimes this is done in a more confrontational manner than others. Sometimes it is a more introspective journey into the bleakness and sometimes it revels in the absurdity of chaos. When I first came across Lard Eian of LardLabs, LLC aspects of all the above came through.
Lard Eian of LardLabs, LLC. is challenging the legacy of institutionalized art practice with a confrontational method that blends a philosophical journey into terrorism with the intimacy of BDSM, immersive environments, and psychedelic self-defining cosmic journeys. I caught up with them to talk about this exploration into art through the lens of terror.
Where did this journey into artistic Terrorism begin?
Well, it’s not so simple, so let’s back up. If I am not allowed to exist, why would I support a world that allows you to? My whole life until 2018 I was led to believe I was mentally ill. Shocker, nothing is wrong with my brain. In 2018 we learned my depression was caused by a hormonal imbalance. It was made worse by pharmaceuticals. But instead of having direct access to my life-saving medication, I had to learn a new language. I had to immerse myself within a different culture. I had to get out of my own way, to be the #Lard I was meant to be. But how does one get out of their own way, when I can’t even hear my own voice? Prior to March of 2020, every day between my ears was a literal hell-loop. It’s why I turned to self-harm/suicidal fantasies. Physical pain, so I thought, was the only method to quiet the noise. It took a full-on breakdown “bomb exploding” for me to finally see the mess. Until I dealt with my various conscious fragments and familiarized my-self with my-own system, how could I possibly be of benefit to my-self, let alone anyone else?
So what did you do to begin this journey?
I built an island-shaped-volcano in the East Atlanta Village to create safe harbor for the many states of me, “Lard” while simultaneously gathering data for my visual think tank: LardLabs, LLC. Our intention at LardLabs is to lead by example. We represent the “thriving artist model.” We choose to believe in the person behind the spectacle. The creator who is not afraid of ‘whatever’ but by love & in love chooses to express themselves, no matter what & when I say no matter what, I mean we are 100% anti-censorship. Otherwise, who owns self-expression & what an absurd demand to ask?
For if I never allowed my-self to transition into a banana, #BananaLard who then split when we dematerialized into the F. R. E. N… Multiple Lards… how could I have discovered that living as a conscious environment, Lardverse holds benefit? My experience gave me unique access to both #witness my-self as the rat & the maze. well, what we have learned… it’s time to PAY ME!
Since artists reside in the flow state of creativity, do you see the act of making art as an act against the stagnant form of the system?
It can be. But which system are we talking about? From whose perspective? Or more importantly, can we be sure the system is stagnant? I would argue the opposite: the system is a living breathing self-propelled-war-machine fueled by humanities volunteered suckling.
What you are doing seems to present as an experience rather than a means to consume
When I dropped out of PhD land and transitioned into a banana in April of 2021, #BananaLard it wasn’t some righteous act against the #institution, the plan was always to finish my PhD. In fact, I told the president of my school my intention was to crawl into the head of western metaphysics and set my-self off like a suicide bomber. Unfortunately, before this could happen my best friend killed himself and to anyone that has dealt with tragedy, it puts ‘whatever’ in perspective real fast.
So going back to the creation of states of persona, in some ways it brings to mind something like Alice Cooper who is the work created by Vincent Furnier to the person as his outlet of music. Is this similar to how you see the personas you have created? and do you also feel this is a therapeutic experience?
“I’m a terrorist,” Lard said… I don’t fit into any box, I never have. Worse, as an adult, I can no longer be bought and I could care less about what you are selling. And for this reason, I also understand this makes me dangerous. It aligns me with unpredictability and as an unknown, I can make people nervous simply by existing. It would be so much easier, in some cases, if I just didn’t. For the peons love to fall in line, the regurgitation of sameness is soothing to their dodo brains. And anything that might threaten their monotony is an X marks the spot GPS trample… Thanks but no thanks… u-to-pia-pee-on-yea.
BastardTongue is a Living-Visual, Expression of how it feels to take oneself hostage as their own terrorist. I am aware this visual expression of psychological warfare can translate to stimulating content, but it is less about consumption and more so testimony to witness.
Fact: It is a miracle I am currently alive. Suicide used to be my baseline and in order to function in society and not kill my-self, I had to get real creative. For during those dark days and like a true sadomasochist, I found every method possible to hurt my-self. On a positive note, during this trial and error, I discovered wrapping my head in saran wrap is oddly soothing. Nothing like a nice hug from the plastic Gods to talk me down from that ledge…
The BT character facilitates a safe space for my inner ‘T’ to express itself but not at the expense of ‘our’ sanity: the states of #Lard that can and have been taken hostage by justified anger and fear. Cause it’s not like we enjoy being our own terrorist. We suck at killing ourselves. We are however an expert at self-torture, prolonged pain, and the denial of pleasure. In other words, the ‘Art of Terror.’
It is for this reason specifically: our real-life experience towards the mastery of terror,
We have chosen the world of BDSM over Art to ‘come out’ as a as a #FinacialDom and to expose our methods as a #TerrorClown to celebrate our real-life experience towards the mastery of terror. It is Eian and Alex’s intention under the guise BastardTongue to host private, one to one virtual-paid for-space to discuss the terror of ‘whatever,’ together. I am not a therapist or a doctor. We are an alcoholic and terrorist in recovery, and it is from our dedication to choosing life, happiness — no matter what & to any lengths — that we are no longer tethered to a psychological war of our own making. If I can do the work to cure my-self of my depression, reprogram my destructive mindset, and manifest dreams beyond my wildest desires, then what is your excuse?
My best friend killed himself so he did not have to kill us both. That’s how far his love took him. Allow me to show ‘you’ unconditional love so that you might be spared the same #terror my brother endured…