One of the things that’s awesome about working from home is that when a post from @dildonighmares pops up in my IG feed I don’t need to hide what I’m laughing hysterically at. And this account makes me laugh hysterically on a regular basis. I think if you want a glimpse into how terrifyingly vast human sexuality is, just take a peek at what people are masturbating with; and when I say people, I’m sorry guys, but I mean – look at what some men put their penis into. Plus there are some really hilarious toys that some unfortunate dildo designer thought would appeal to a niche market of women – like giant demon tongues or horse/crocodile/leech/insert random animal or insect here shaped dicks – but I can assure you that we generally look for function before novelty shapes. I also think that most men are not looking for a toy that looks like a serial killer’s sexy body part concoction. Here are some of the recent Dildo Nightmares posts that have made my day – which one is your favorite?
View this post on InstagramI’m def thirsty now. 🍻 #dildonightmares #irregularspots
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View this post on InstagramSuPeR cRaZyYyYy 🤪🤪🤪 #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramDefinitely an A+ for creativity. #diyforyourdick #dildonightmares 📸 @anxietyhangovers
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View this post on InstagramI CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP YOU GUYS. 🤭 #nope
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View this post on InstagramDeflated af. Happy Friday, pervs. 🥳
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View this post on InstagramDon’t mind me over here 🎍🌴 #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramDo they even try? 😑 #hairstyles #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramSorry, I’m not into insect legs 😬#dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramIncluded? Not included? Butthole on her back? What is happening? #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramAt least she has cozy socks on? 🤷🏻♂️ #melty #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramIs anyone else lost? 🥨 #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramThis is much harder than you’d think. (Thanks @anxietyhangovers 📸) #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramFor those with a “my entire tit is pierced” fetish. #nipplenightmares #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramTotally, if you’re into fuckin’ steak. 🥩 #4D #steakdick #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramName that sex toy! #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramAre… are those hands? 😕 #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramWelp, I guess I’m not sleeping tonight. 👻 #horrormovie #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramI can’t.🐊🐊🐊 #crocidildo #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramThis one just keeps coming back around. 👅👅👅#unsmooth #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramEveryone, meet Carlos 😕🐣 #savecarlos #dildonightmares (thank you @foreplaychicagostore 👍🏽)
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View this post on InstagramDoes this make anyone else incredibly uncomfortable 😐 #anatomy #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramI wish this was a joke. 🐛 ☹️ #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramTemptation Passion Lady sure has a lot going on. 👌🏼 #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramI’m calling the cops 😿 #fleshthorn #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramI feel like this is nothing like my lover flirting with me 🤔 #flirting #dildonightmares
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View this post on InstagramAnyone else here a CatDog fan? 😾🐶 #atm #dildonightmares
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Meghan MacRae grew up in Vancouver, Canada, but spent many years living in the remote woods. Living in the shadow of grizzly bears, cougars and the other predators of the wilderness taught her about the dark side of nature, and taught her to accept her place in nature's order as their prey. She is co-founder of CVLT Nation.
