ARSON, MURDER, & PEDOPHILIA
Alex and Derek King were a pair of pimply, scruffy Florida boys on the cusp of adolescence. Their troubled youths and broken family had them bouncing around from place to place until they finally both wound up living with their father in 2001.
Alex was 12 and Derek 13 when the boys struck up a friendship with an adult named Rick Chavis, a friend of their dad’s. Alex and Rick embarked on a homosexual relationship that had 12-year-old Alex declaring in notes found later that “Before I met Rick I was strate [sic] but now I am gay.” Investigators also found a photo of Alex placed over Chavis’s bed.
Neither King brother liked their father, so a murder plot was hatched whereby they’d kill him so they could move in with Chavis. When firefighters responded to a call at the King house in November 2001, they noticed 40-year-old Terry King dead on a couch, his face bashed in and his skull split open. Testimonies conflicted over multiple trials, and it was unclear who actually swung the bat that killed Terry King. Both brothers eventually pleaded guilty to third-degree murder and arson. Alex was released from prison in 2008 and Derek in 2009. Chavis will be eligible for parole in 2028.
HE SHAVED, PUT ON A SUIT, WALKED DOWNSTAIRS, AND SHOT HIS FAMILY
Bespectacled and doughy, Lowell Lee Andrews appeared more like a stamp collector than a mass murderer. His hometown newspaper in Kansas even dubbed him “The Nicest Boy in Wolcott.” While visiting his family for the Thanksgiving holiday in 1958, the 18-year-old zoology major read a Dostoevsky novel upstairs while his mom, dad, and sister huddled around a TV downstairs. After he was finished reading he shaved, put on a suit, and walked downstairs with a revolver and a rifle.
He shot his sister Jennie Marie right between the eyes, killing her with one bullet. He planted six bullets in his mother and another seventeen in his father, who finally succumbed while crawling to the kitchen for safety.
Lowell then went to see a movie, tossed his guns in a river, then came back home and notified police that his parents had been shot. Officers became suspicious at his emotionless demeanor. A family minister who was visiting the crime scene finally persuaded Lowell to confess. He did, adding that he felt absolutely nothing while killing his parents and later claiming, “I just don’t know why I did it.” He was executed by hanging in November 1962.
ARGUMENT OVER PUNK-ROCK CASSETTE LEADS TO AXE SLAYING OF FOUR FAMILY MEMBERS
Friends at his Minnesota high school described David Brom as a sweet guy who “wouldn’t step on a flower.” But his gentle façade masked a dark side, which he indulged by listening to hardcore punk and thrash music such as Suicidal Tendencies. One evening in February 1988, after allegedly quarreling with his father about the music on one of his cassettes, Brom grabbed a large axe and with 56 mighty blows bludgeoned his father, mother, sister, and brother to death. He appeared the next day at school with a new black-dyed Mohawk haircut and bragged to a female student that he’d killed his family. A judge accused Brom of having a “pathetically sick, depressed mind” while sentencing him to life in prison.
HER THREE-HUNDRED-YEAR-OLD WEREWOLF BOYFRIEND TOLD HER TO DO IT
Little Jasmine Richardson of the Canadian burg of Medicine Hat, Alberta was only 12 years old when she fell in love with a 23-year-old man named Jeremy Steinke, who allegedly claimed to be a 300-year-old werewolf who loved the taste of blood. Naturally, Jasmine’s family did not approve, so naturally Jeremy and some friends watched the film Natural Born Killers, in which a pair of gun-toting, lovestruck goofballs murder the girl’s parents. Hours later on that evening in April 2006, Jeremy and Jasmine would leave her parents and her little brother Jacob dead from stabbing and slashing. Her father had been so severely gutted, there was almost no blood left in his body when police found him.
Both Jeremy and Jasmine were found guilty of three counts of murder. Jasmine is thought to be the youngest person ever convicted of murder in Canada. Due to her age at the time of the murders, she received a maximum 10-year sentence, of which she served only four years before her release. Jeremy will be in prison for the rest of his life—which, since he’s a werewolf, could be forever.
THE WORLD’S ONLY FATAL ATOMIC WEDGIE
Giving one another “wedgies” is an odd, anally focused, and possibly homoerotic male-bonding ritual performed among a select group of sadistic, douchey males. A regular wedgie involves pulling up your dudebro friend’s underwear so high that it causes him pain. An “atomic wedgie”—which is thought to be so difficult as to defy the laws of physics—involves pulling the underwear all the way up over the victim’s head.
In 2013 when Brad Lee Davis of McCloud, OK got into a fight with his stepdad Denver St. Clair after the latter allegedly made snide comments about Davis’s mom, Davis knocked him unconscious, gave him an atomic wedgie, and then took photos of his handiwork. But the underwear’s waistband would prove fatal for St. Clair, as it choked him to death.
“There’s no way I ever thought that could have happened,” gasped Davis. “I was panicked, mad, scared. Things got out of hand.” (Technically, things got out of ass, but I’m not one to quibble.) Davis pleaded guilty to first-degree manslaughter in what is quite possibly the world’s only recorded case of a fatal atomic wedgie.
KILLER BROTHERS BLAME IT ON DADDY’S DIDDLING
Joseph Lyle Menendez and his brother Erik seemed to have it all—all, that is, except everything that their parents owned, which was a lot, seeing as their dad was a wealthy entertainment executive and they lived in a Beverly Hills mansion formerly inhabited by Elton John and Prince (no, not at the same time, silly, not that there’d be anything wrong with it).
But having little success in their personal lives, these two parricidal jet-setting rich boys grabbed a shotgun one night in August 1989 and pumped so much lead into their parents that they were unrecognizable. Their demeanor seemed a trifle iffy at their parents’ funeral, as did the fact that they blew an estimated $1 million of their inheritance within the first six months of murdering their folks. After finally being charged with murder, their female defense lawyer opened a smelly can of worms by accusing Erik and Lyle’s father of having anally and orally abused them for years until they finally exploded in a fatal act of rape-survivor rage. The defense strategy didn’t work, and both brothers are serving life imprisonment.
STABS THREE FAMILY MEMBERS TO DEATH, FABRICATES A HATE CRIME
The member of an Asian family living in Australia, Sef Gonzales displayed strange behavior that pegged him as an odd bird indeed. He posed topless on a “tribute” website to him that he pretended was set up by a family friend but was entirely done by him. He was also a liar who’d told friends for years that he had cancer.
He found himself a failure at age 21 and decided to kill his family ostensibly to get his grubby paws on their fortune. One afternoon in July 2001 he came home, grabbed two long knives from the kitchen, walked into his sister’s bedroom, then strangled, bludgeoned, and stabbed her until she was dead. About an hour later when his mother came home, he killed her, too. Then a little over an hour after that when his dad arrived home, Sef stabbed him to death, puncturing a lung and partially severing his spine. To cover his tracks, he painted “Fuck off Asians KKK” on one of the walls. But his pathological lying led to several contradictory statements and the discovery of a previous bungled plot to kill his family with poisonous beans. Gonzales was arrested and convicted of murder.