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Very Awkward Family Portraits

Text & Photos via Lazer Horse

When posing for a family portrait it’s important to make sure you capture the essence of your family unit. You need to make the photograph interesting, but at the same time demonstrate the real meaning of being part of your clan. Here’s a bunch of people who have tried real darn hard to get it right. Whether they succeeded or not is a question you would have to ask them. But if you’re asking me, I would say they have all succeeded at something: greatness.

First, a quick game of spot the difference for you. Which kid is the odd one out? Can you tell? That’s right, its little Johnny on the right because he has a moustache. He’s only 7 but he has a medical condition which causes him to suffer waves of incredibly high testosterone levels. The facial hair is the least of his worries, it’s the bouts of blind rage that are the biggest issue for his family.

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The Beegees never looked so good.

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Bob likes plants, he likes growing plants, eating plants and most of all wearing plants. He swears by it. Apparently his eczema has reduced in size and swelling 65% since he started wearing runner beans last June. He draws some stares but he’s happy to put up with it for clearer skin.

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Anyone who has a painting of their dogs above their bed and then has a photo taken with the dogs on his bed, underneath the painting has some serious mental issues. Unless it’s ironic, but let’s face it, it isn’t is it?

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Lots to look at in this one. Shorts and a dog collar on the left, moody 80s girl on the right and the son killing the daughter in the middle. What are they trying to say to us?

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Kittens in pockets…

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Joline married Hank because he was made out of pure mahogany which is a very expensive wood. She chose well.

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Here’s an olden day modern family. This photo is funny, but let’s remember that the iPhone wasn’t invented until 1863, long after this picture was taken. They’re right to bask in the glory of being able to speak to people they don’t like more easily.

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So, yeah, obviously there’s a dummy in here. But the hair top left is what really takes centre stage for me.

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The poor little mite at the bottom is desperately trying to blank the situation out. She’s just focusing her concentration on Terry the turkey and hoping it will all pass, just like she always does.

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